Assertiveness is a behavioral skill taught by many personal development Personal development refers to individual self-development and the development of others. By extension, personal development may involve programs, tools and methods. At the level of individuals personal development includes goals, plans or actions oriented towards one or more of the following aims: experts and behavior therapists Behaviour therapy, or behavior therapy is an approach to psychotherapy based on learning theory which aims to treat psychopathology through techniques designed to reinforce desired and extinguish undesired behaviours as well as cogntive behavior therapists Cognitive behavioral therapy is a psychotherapeutic approach that aims to solve problems concerning dysfunctional emotions, behaviors and cognitions through a goal-oriented, systematic procedure. The title is used in diverse ways to designate behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and to refer to therapy based upon a combination of basic behavioral. It is linked to self-esteem Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. A person's self-esteem may be reflected in their behaviour, such as in assertiveness, shyness, confidence or caution. Self-esteem can apply and considered an important communication Communication is a process of transferring information from one entity to another. Communication processes are sign-mediated interactions between at least two agents which share a repertoire of signs and semiotic rules. Communication is commonly defined as "the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, skill[according to whom?]. It was orginally explored by Joseph Wolpe Joseph Wolpe was born on April 20th ,1915, in Johannesburg, South Africa, and died on December 4th ,1998, from lung cancer. He is one of the most influential figures in behavior therapy. Wolpe grew up in South Africa and obtained his M.D. from the University of Witwatersrand. In 1956, Wolpe moved to the United States accepting a position at in his book on treating neurosis. It is commonly employed as an intervention in behavior therapy Behaviour therapy, or behavior therapy is an approach to psychotherapy based on learning theory which aims to treat psychopathology through techniques designed to reinforce desired and extinguish undesired behaviours.[1]. The belief was that a person could not be both assertive and anxious at the same time and thus being assertive would inhibit anxiety.

As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished from aggression In psychology, as well as other social and behavioral sciences, aggression refers to behavior between members of the same species that is intended to cause pain or harm. Predatory behavior between members of one species towards another species is also described as "aggression." To exhibit aggression towards members of another species is and passivity[citation needed]. How people deal with personal boundaries Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits, their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to abuse Abuse is the improper usage or treatment for a bad purpose, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit, physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, sexual assault, violation, rape, unjust practices; wrongful practice or custom; offense; crime, or otherwise verbal aggression. Abuse can come in many forms or manipulate Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing only the interests of the manipulator, often at the other's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive them through fear. Passive communicators are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person or other entity , and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected (e.g., "I have great respect for her judgment"). It can also be conduct in accord with a specific the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by overcoming fear to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. Assertive people are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions.

According to Santrock there's a 4th method of communication called Manipulative Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing only the interests of the manipulator, often at the other's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive, this is when you further your own agenda by the use of lying, making people feel sorry or guilty for you.[citation needed]. Its clearly distinguished from assertiveness due to the fact that Assertive speakers care about the rights and opinions of others. Assertiveness is considered the ideal, though some people believe manipulative is the ideal due to the fact that it is "calculative" and the user realizes the potential uses of all 4 communication styles and the advantages and disadvantages of each. Thus a good manipulative speaker would choose between the 4 depending on which would give the best results for the situation. Typically a manipulative speaker wants power but not the responsibility that comes with it. Its distinguished from aggressiveness because a aggressor would further their own agenda through the use of force (verbal abuse and fear), where as a manipulator would realize that more subtlety is required. This is usually a better method than aggressive communication, because there’s less risk involved but arguably harder to pull off. Manipulative communication will get you what you want through deceit while being under the radar, there's still risk involved however in that someone may find out that you lied to them.

Contents

Definition

This section does not cite any references or sources. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be and removed. (July 2008)

An assertive style of behavior is to interact with people while standing up for your rights. Being assertive is to one's benefit most of the time but it does not mean that one always gets what he/she wants. The result of being assertive is that

  1. You feel good about yourself
  2. Other people know how to deal with you and there is nothing vague about dealing with you.

Assertive people

This section does not cite any references or sources. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be and removed. (July 2008)

Assertive people have the following characteristics[citation needed]:

Techniques

Broken record

The Broken record technique[2] consists of simply repeating your requests every time you are met with illegitimate resistance. The term comes from vinyl records A gramophone record, commonly known as a phonograph record , vinyl record (when made of polyvinyl chloride), or simply record, is an analog sound storage medium consisting of a flat disc with an inscribed, modulated spiral groove. The groove usually starts near the periphery and ends near the centre of the disc. Phonograph records are generally, the surface of which when scratched would lead the needle of a record player The phonograph, record player, or gramophone was the most common device for playing sound recordings from the late 1870s until the late 1980s to loop over the same few seconds of the recording indefinitely. However, a disadvantage with this technique is that when resistance continues, your requests lose power every time you have to repeat them. If the requests are repeated too often it can backfire on the authority of your words. In these cases it is necessary to have some sanctions on hand.

Fogging

Fogging[2] consists of finding some limited truth to agree with in what an antagonist is saying. More specifically, one can agree in part or agree in principle.

Negative inquiry

Negative inquiry[2] consists of requesting further, more specific criticism.

Negative assertion

Negative assertion[2] is agreement with criticism without letting up demand.

I statements

I statements can be used to voice one's feelings and wishes from a personal position without expressing a judgment about the other person or blaming one's feelings on them.

Examples

This section does not cite any references or sources. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be and removed. (July 2008)

Gandhi's Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (Hindi: मोहनदास करमचंद गाँधी, Gujarati: મોહનદાસ કરમચંદ ગાંધી, pronounced [moːɦən̪d̪aːs kərəmʨən̪d̪ ɡaːn̪d̪ʱiː] ; 2 October 1869 – 30 January 1948) was the pre-eminent political and spiritual leader of India during the Indian struggle for India's independence, along with the communication strategy and actions he used for this, are a good example of assertiveness. He used a people movement which he called "Satyagraha Satyagraha is a philosophy and practice of nonviolent resistance developed by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (also known as "Mahatma" Gandhi). Gandhi deployed satyagraha in the Indian independence movement and also during his earlier struggles in South Africa. Satyagraha theory influenced Nelson Mandela's struggle in South Africa under" which used non violent resistance as a means to achieve his objective. He kept communicating Indians' right to rule themselves to the British, irrespective of what the British thought about Indians. Gandhi was sent to jail several times and in many cases was asked to pay a fine for opposing British rule. He never agreed to pay the fine, saying that he had the right to say what he thought was correct.

After several decades of this struggle, India became independent.[citation needed]

Applications

Several research studies have identified assertiveness training as a useful tool in the prevention of alcohol use disorders.[3] Psychological skills in general including assertiveness and social skills have been posed as intervention for a variety of disorders with some empirical support [4]

References

  1. ^ Wolpe, J. (1958) Psychotherapy by Reciprocal Inhibition, (California: Stanford University Press, 1958), 53-62
  2. ^ a b c d Smith, M. J. When I say no, I feel guilty 1975
  3. ^ DrugAlcohol-rehab.com
  4. ^ O’Donohue, W. (2003). Psychological Skills Training: Issues and Controversies. The Behavior Analyst Today, 4 (3), 331-335. [1]

Further reading

External links

Look up assertiveness in Wiktionary Wiktionary is a multilingual, web-based project to create a free content dictionary, available in over 151 languages. Unlike standard dictionaries, it is written collaboratively by volunteers, dubbed "Wiktionarians", using wiki software, allowing articles to be changed by almost anyone with access to the website, the free dictionary.
Psychological manipulation Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing only the interests of the manipulator, often at the other's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive
Positive reinforcement Reinforcement is a term in operant conditioning and behavior analysis for the delivery of a stimulus, after a response, that results in an increase in the future rate or probability of that response . The response strength is assessed by measuring frequency, duration, latency, accuracy, and/or persistence of the response after reinforcement stops Attention Attention is the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on one aspect of the environment while ignoring other things. Attention has also been referred to as the allocation of processing resources · Flattery Historically, flattery has been used as a standard form of discourse when addressing a king or queen. In the Renaissance, it was a common practice among writers to flatter the reigning monarch, as Edmund Spenser flattered Queen Elizabeth I in The Faerie Queene, William Shakespeare flattered King James I in Macbeth and Niccolo Machiavelli flattered · Giving gifts A gift or a present is the transfer of something without the expectation of receiving something in return. Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free. In many human societies, the act of mutually exchanging money, goods, etc. may contribute to social cohesion. Economists have elaborated the · Giving money Money is any object that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a given country or socio-economic context. The main functions of money are distinguished as: a medium of exchange; a unit of account; a store of value; and, occasionally, a standard of deferred payment · Grooming Child grooming, in the context of this article, refers to actions deliberately undertaken with the aim of befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, in order to lower the child's inhibitions in preparation for child sexual abuse. Child grooming is also used to lure children into sexual exploitation such as child ·Ingratiation 'Ingratiation is a strategic attempt to get someone to like you in order to obtain compliance with a request . Ingratiation is generally conceptualized as a variant of impression management tactics (Buss, Gomes, Higgins & Lauterbach, 1987) · Love bombing · Praise In its common usage, praise is the act of making positive statements about a person, object or idea, either in public or privately. Praise is typically, but not exclusively, earned relative to achievement and accomplishment. Praise is often contrasted with criticism, where the latter is held to mean exclusively negative statements made about · Seduction · Smiling A smile is a facial expression formed by flexing the muscles near both ends of the mouth . The smile can also be found around the eyes . Among humans, it is customarily an expression denoting pleasure, happiness, or amusement, but can also be an involuntary expression of anxiety, in which case it is known as a grimace. Cross-cultural studies have · Superficial charm Superficial charm, also called glibness, is a common manipulative technique using positive reinforcement. The "charm" is entirely insincere. It may manifest itself as flattery. It is an important attribute of psychopathic personalities. It is often used by abusers early on in an abusive relationship to attract and groom the abused person · Superficial sympathy Crocodile tears are a false or insincere display of emotion such as a hypocrite crying fake tears of grief. The expression comes from an ancient anecdote that crocodiles weep in order to lure their prey, or that they cry for the victims they are eating. This tale was first spread widely in English in the stories of the travels of Sir John
Negative reinforcement Reinforcement is a term in operant conditioning and behavior analysis for the delivery of a stimulus, after a response, that results in an increase in the future rate or probability of that response . The response strength is assessed by measuring frequency, duration, latency, accuracy, and/or persistence of the response after reinforcement stops Anger Anger is an emotion. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of harm. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the · Character assassination Character assassination is an attempt to tarnish a person's reputation. It may involve exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. It is a form of defamation and can be a form of ad hominem argument · Crying Crying is shedding tears as a response to an emotional state in humans. The act of crying has been defined as "a complex secretomotor phenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears from the lacrimal apparatus, without any irritation of the ocular structures". The medical term for this is to lacrimate, which also refers to non- · Emotional blackmail According to psychotherapist Susan Forward, emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which blackmailers who are close to the victim threaten, either directly or indirectly, to punish them to get what they want. They may know the victim's vulnerabilities and their deepest secrets. They can be their parents, partners, bosses or · Frowning A frown is a facial expression used to show displeasure, sadness or disapproval · Glaring · Guilt trip Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that he or she has violated a moral standard, and bears significant responsibility for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse · Inattention Attention is the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on one aspect of the environment while ignoring other things. Attention has also been referred to as the allocation of processing resources · Intimidation Intimidation is intentional behavior "which would cause a person of ordinary sensibilities" fear of injury or harm. It's not necessary to prove that the behavior was so violent as to cause terror or that the victim was actually frightened · Nagging Criticism is the judgement of the merits and faults of the actions or work of another individual. Criticism can mean merely to evaluate without necessarily finding fault; however, usually the word implies the expression of disapproval · Nit-picking criticism Criticism is the judgement of the merits and faults of the actions or work of another individual. Criticism can mean merely to evaluate without necessarily finding fault; however, usually the word implies the expression of disapproval · Passive aggression · Punishment In operant conditioning, punishment is any change in a human or animal's surroundings that occurs after a given behavior or response which reduces the likelihood of that behavior occurring again in the future. As with reinforcement, it is the behavior, not the animal, that is punished. Whether a change is or is not punishing is only known by its · Relational aggression Relational aggression, also known as covert aggression or covert bullying is a type of aggression in which harm is caused through damage to relationships or social status within a group rather than physical violence. Relational aggression is more common and more studied among girls than boys · Shaming Shame is, variously, an affect, emotion, cognition, state, or condition. The roots of the word shame are thought to derive from an older word meaning to cover; as such, covering oneself, literally or figuratively, is a natural expression of shame · Silent treatment Social rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a social relationship or social interaction. The topic includes both interpersonal rejection and romantic rejection. A person can be rejected on an individual basis or by an entire group of people. Furthermore, rejection can be either active, by bullying, teasing, or · Sulking · Swearing · Threats Coercion is the practice of forcing another party to behave in an involuntary manner (whether through action or inaction) by use of threats, intimidation, trickery, or some other form of pressure or force. Such actions are used as leverage, to force the victim to act in the desired way. Coercion may involve the actual infliction of physical pain/ · Victim blaming Victim blaming is holding the victims of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment to be entirely or partially responsible for the unfortunate incident that has occurred in their life. Historically victim-blaming has often emerged in racist and sexist forms. It is also about blaming individuals for their personal distress or for · Victim playing Victim playing is the fabrication of victim-hood for a variety of reasons such to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy or attention seeking · Yelling A scream, shout, holler, vociferation, or yell is a loud vocalization in which air is passed through the vocal cords with greater force than is used in regular or close-distance vocalization. Though technically this process can be performed by any creature possessing lungs, the preceding terms are usually applied specifically to human vocalization
Other techniques Deception Deception, beguilement, deceit, bluff, mystification, and subterfuge are acts to propagate beliefs that are not true, or not the whole truth . Deception can involve dissimulation, propaganda, sleight of hand. It can employ distraction, camouflage or concealment. There is also self-deception · Denial · Deprogramming · Disinformation · Distortion · Diversion · Evasion · Exaggeration · Gaslighting · Indoctrination · Lying · Minimisation · Rationalization (making excuses)
Contexts Abuse · Advertising · Bullying · Confidence trick · Media manipulation · Mind control · Mobbing · Propaganda · Scapegoating · Smear campaign · Spin · Whispering campaign
Related topics Assertiveness · Blame · Dumbing down · Enabling · Impression management · Fallacy · Narcissism · Personal boundaries · Personality disorders · Persuasion · Projection · Psychopathy · Self-esteem · Sheeple · Sycophancy · Vulnerabilities · Weasel words · Whistleblowing

Categories: Human behavior | Social psychology | Personal development

 

The above information uses material from Wikipedia and is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License.
Some facts may not have been fully verified for accuracy. [Disclaimers]
This page was last archived by our server on Wed Jul 28 03:28:33 2010. [ refresh local cache ]
Displaying this page or its contents does not use any Wikimedia Foundation's resources.
The owners of this site proudly support the Wikimedia Foundation.

[Hide]▼
'Assertiveness' News
Chamber's Tony Sheridan gets statewide honor - TheDay.com
theday.com
Chamber's Tony Sheridan gets statewide honor - TheDay.com
Wed, 16 Jun 2010 08:09:33 GMT+00:00
TheDay.com "He brings professionalism, confidence and assertiveness on behalf of his region," Purcell said in prepared remarks. Sheridan, a Waterford resident, ...
Google News Search: Assertiveness,
Wed Jun 23 13:41:07 2010
'Assertiveness' Images
assertiveness jpg
martone.co.jp
assertiveness jpg
320px x 500px | 46.30kB

[source page]



Yahoo Images Search: Assertiveness,
Tue Jul 27 12:45:43 2010
'Assertiveness' Blogs
Steinbrenner mixed harsh assertiveness with quiet decency | Confidence
veryeasyconfidence.com
Steinbrenner mixed harsh assertiveness with quiet decency | Confidence

admin

ue, 20 Jul 2010 13:19:32 GM

Steinbrenner mixed harsh . assertiveness. with quiet decency He went out as a world champion - and a scene stealer. He was the star of the All-Star Game. Forget.

Google Blogs Search: Assertiveness,
Fri Jul 23 10:16:55 2010
'Assertiveness' Answers
Can anyone please explain what the difference is between assertiveness and aggression?
Q. It is common for people to bemuse assertiveness with aggressiveness. Why is that? What are the differences between being assertive and being aggressive? What are the parameters of passive-aggressive behavior?
Asked by Savage serenity - Fri Oct 10 16:24:01 2008 - - 3 Answers - 0 Comments

A. People often confuse aggression and assertiveness because they both involve a level of boldness! The difference lies in the fact that assertiveness involves boldness and confidence. Aggression involves anger , boldness, acting on impulse and being overbearing! Anger is often mistaken for boldness! Passive aggressive is when a person has tendencies to not be consistent in being just passive(nonchalant and emotionally uninvolved) or just aggressive(extremely angry, violent, impulsive)! They waver between both! The parameters of passive-aggressive behavior are withholding true emotions verses displaying extreme emotion.
Answered by Epignosis - Fri Oct 10 16:57:02 2008

Yahoo Answers Search: Assertiveness,
Wed Jul 28 04:35:52 2010
[Hide]▲